Thursday, October 31, 2013

Some frustrating things

I have been planning to be off work for 8 weeks.  2 weeks of vacation pay and 6 weeks of temporary disability pay.  Money will be tight, but we can make it. 

Until I found out that when we changed companies mid year, it changed what is available to me.  In my mind, I've thought throughout this pregnancy that I will be out December and January. As it turns out, I can use my two weeks of PTO and then I only get 4 weeks of temporary disability pay.  Only 6 weeks off work after the baby is born.  It makes me so sad already.

I'm planning on having a C-section and that recovery time is about 6 weeks, so I won't even have the last two weeks to see if I feel like visiting our gym or getting more done around the house.  A six week old baby seems entirely too small to leave at a daycare.  Can I get enough milk stored in a 6 week time period to be able to leave her all day long every day?  We can't add daycare and formula to the budget unless it's a matter of life/death/starvation.

Jacob will have rain/bad weather days at work and will be able to stay home with her on those days, but I know that I'll just be jealous instead of happy for him. 

Sometimes I am so grateful for the awesome job I have and the ability to make such good money.  And sometimes I wish I was a secretary making nothing (with life expenses that mirror a crummy salary) so I could have the option to stay home with a baby if I wanted to.  But alas, I like nice things, winning, being successful at work, and trying to have it all.  It's the cross I bear.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

35w, 3d

How Far Along: 35 weeks, 3 days
Baby Size:  Large Cantaloupe (19 to 22in, 6 lbs) (Total rip off that the fruit didn't change this week)

Maternity Clothes: I haven't bought any more maternity clothes.  Going to MAYBE order a few more things today because tomorrow is pay day and for once in the last year, I don't feel dirt poor. I have to save all of this money though for when the babe arrives and I'm dirt poor.

Best Moment of the Week:  Didn't feel good on Monday and slept from like 8:30a -1pm.  It felt pretty awesome to have a nap since I've been lacking in the sleep department.  I'm up for hours every night.

Miss Anything:  A clean(ish) dining room.  That room is chaos right now.

Movement: She is slower in her movement this week.  Going to get an ultrasound in the next week or two to see where she's hanging out.

Food Cravings:  The only thing I crave right now is TUMS.

Food Aversions:  I'm afraid to eat anything spicy anymore.  It's just not worth being up at night and debating on sleeping, going to get TUMS, or dealing with the burning in my throat.  

Labor Signs: More cramping this week, but no dilation yet.  Braxton-Hicks are constant and annoying.  About 70% of the time my stomach is tight.
Sleep:  I've been getting pretty tired lately.  By the time I get home from work, I don't really care to do anything. 

Symptoms: My feet are still swelling daily but they do go down by the end of the night if I put them up.   Cramping, back aches.

Looking Forward To:   Having the nursery DONE.  I need this done.  I need a bag packed.  I need to be READY for the child so I can relax and not have things spinning through my mind all the time.

Thoughts:  I could use more naps and sleep.  I'm tired

Thursday, October 24, 2013

34w, 4d

How Far Along: 34 weeks, 4 days
Baby Size:  Large Cantaloupe (19 to 22in, 5.5 lbs)

Maternity Clothes:  I feel like I've run out of clothes and I'm so sick of wearing what I already have, but I still haven't pushed send on my final Old Navy.  BECAUSE - seriously, I need a LOT of things for the baby.  And what if the baby comes next week and then I have maternity sweaters and leggings that I can't even get use out of.  5 more weeks max.  But it's getting colder and I'm getting more and more unhappy with the way I look (Duh) so a new sweater might be just what I need..... instead of things like bottles.... Ugh. I already suffer from guilt any time I buy anything for myself and now I'm going to be 10x worse because of the blessed child.

Best Moment of the Week:  Still waiting for it.  2 of my candidates said no to jobs on Monday and I cried about it... so Monday was a scratch. Maybe it will be this Saturday when my brother comes up and we work on the nursery.

Miss Anything:  Just being my normal self and having a normal relationship with my husband and having a normal day that doesn't revolve around not sleeping or worrying about kick counts or baby names.  This has taken over my life and I'm over it.

Movement: She is busiest at night after dinner until bed.  She moves around at work sometimes but I've not been able to catch her moving enough for anyone but Jacob to feel her.  She's a snotty baby girl.

Food Cravings:  Jacob made me pancakes on Sunday night! And I threw a small hormone induced rage that he didn't measure the water for the pancakes.

Food Aversions:  No 

Labor Signs: I had very very mild cramping for a few days that was very sporadic.  It feels like the Braxton-Hicks are more frequent because sometimes my stomach gets so tight. That's it though.  No concrete signs.

Sleep:  I've been getting pretty tired lately.  By the time I get home from work, I don't really care to do anything.  I wish I could nap from 2p-4p daily.  I yawn a lot.  I really struggle to get up in the mornings because I wake up so much at night.

Symptoms: My feet are still swelling daily but they do go down by the end of the night if I put them up.  Sometimes I get irritated at Jake for laying on the couch and not reading my mind that I'd like to put my feet up too.  He would of course move and do anything he could to make me comfortable, but alas, I like to just bitch about it and get mad in my mind.

Looking Forward To:   Having the nursery DONE.  I need this done.  I need a bag packed.  I need to be READY for the child so I can relax and not have things spinning through my mind all the time.

Thoughts:  I could use more naps and sleep.  I'm tired

Thursday, October 17, 2013

33w, 5d

How Far Along: 33weeks, 5 days

Baby Size:  Pineapple (19- 22 in., 4.9 lbs)

Maternity Clothes:  I'm about to place another order at Old Navy.  I need some sweaters, it's so cold. Such a shame to spend money on these things since I'll only be pregnant for another 6 weeks, but I figure that when I'm home alone on maternity leave, I can still get away with wearing the comfy clothes.

Best Moment of the Week:  Amanda threw a great baby shower for me.  She really always goes above and beyond.  It was really as bearable as  a baby shower could be for me.  The pic of Amanda and I really shows how pregnant I am. Goodness, I'm actually glad that I don't have a full sized mirror at home.
 





 

Miss Anything:  Not anymore.  I had about 2oz of wine last night when Amanda and I met for dinner.  I wanted to bring her a present and we met at Cheesecake Factory for dinner.  I had a half of a half of a glass of Pinot Noir and it was everything I'd been missing and thinking about.  I had to pass the glass to Amanda half way through because I could tell I had a bit of alcohol in my system.  I think I gave myself enough of a taste to be able to make it the next few weeks.

Movement: She wasn't busy Saturday - Wednesday.  Almost concerning.  I had to do kick counts because I really needed to pay attention to if she was moving.  Last night when I got home from meeting Amanda though, she was back to busy.  I slept horribly last night due to a business alarm going off by my house at 2a.m. which kept me up until it was time for work this morning.  I really really need  to go home and sleep.  Anyway, she was so busy all night.  I think she could hear that darn alarm too.  

Food Cravings:  Still waiting on those pancakes.

Food Aversions:  Still eating cereal if something "doesn't sound good". 

Labor Signs: None

Sleep:  Such a bad day to think of it.  I need to sleep so bad.  I really need to leave work and go home.  I'm miserable and getting nothing done.

Symptoms: My feet didn't go down the last few days so they're staying fairly puffy, but otherwise, just normal aches and pains.

Looking Forward To:   Getting the nursery done.  Waiting on my parents with the dresser so I can get to everything.  I'd like to work on it this weekend and next so it's complete.  I hate that I'm not prepared.

Thoughts:  I could use more naps and sleep.  I'm tired.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

32w, 4 days

How Far Along: 32 weeks, 4 days

Baby Size:  Honeydew (19in., 4.5 lbs)

Maternity Clothes:  Amanda bought me a new shirt!  8 months sober!  It's so great because I only got to wear my 7 months sober shirt once.

Best Moment of the Week:  Stressful week. Grandma Brown broke her hip.  Uncle Jerry went in for stints.  Ashley the cat is most likely dead. BUT, the babyshower is this weekend.  Amanda is doing a great job planning and I'm happy she's in control of everything, but I still imagine it in my head as stressful.  We will see.

Miss Anything:  My husband.  Being busy at the hospital and having company and him working so much just leaves less time for each other and I miss him.  

Movement: She is still busy.  This weekend she was very busy and she seems to be most active in the evenings during the weekdays.  She wouldn't kick for my mom or Aunt Deb which is so weird because she kicks me all day.

Food Cravings:  Still waiting on those pancakes.

Food Aversions:  Still eating cereal if something "doesn't sound good". 

Labor Signs: None

Sleep:  I wish I could sleep late.  The times when I sleep the best are 5am (after I make Jake's lunch and he goes to work) until whenever I get to sleep before I have to get up for work.  I am so tired lately and I'm just not getting enough sleep.  I need like 12 hours.

Symptoms: This week has been very bearable. My back hurts some, my feet haven't been too swollen... all in all, not a bad week at all. See, I don't complain when the pain is "normal pregnancy stuff".

Looking Forward To:   The baby shower on Saturday. Being done with the baby shower.  I don't think I'll be traveling back to Cuba after this trip.  It will be 6 weeks until the baby comes but I just don't want to be down there if I go into labor and I want to really enjoy these last few weeks with Jacob before we have someone else taking up our time.

Thoughts:  I could use more naps and sleep.  I'm tired.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

31w 5d

How Far Along: 31 weeks, 5 days

Baby Size:  Head of lettuce (19in., 3.9 lbs)

Maternity Clothes:  I bought a tunic top from Old Navy.  I opened it this morning, deemed it the most comfortable shirt I'd ever had on... and took that thing off.  It's super pregnancy gear. I'll wear it, but today wasn't the day I was ready for that.

Best Moment of the Week:  Jacob's bff came to visit us last Saturday and they went to the ballgame together.  I was happy to let the husband have some male bonding time since I moved him to STL and he doesn't really have a lot of friends here.

Miss Anything:  No, not really. Sleeping without waking up.  Skinnier feet.  Wearing heels if I choose too.  

Movement: She has been very busy the last week or two.  I thought that she was kicking a lot but after the doctor's visit on Tuesday, it appears she's punching. The doctor said that because of where she found the heartbeat, the baby was breech right now.   She moves for long periods of time and often throughout the day.  When I wake up in the middle of the night, she moves a bit too.  She isn't waking me up with movement though, so I 'm hopeful she knows the difference between daytime and nighttime and I'll benefit from that in December.

Food Cravings:  Pancakes.  I really always want pancakes though.  Throughout the pregnancy.  Still waiting on the husband to make me some.  Vanilla Lattes are my favorite thing in the world still.  I wish I could drink Starbucks 24/7.

Food Aversions:  A lot of times I don't want to eat whatever I'm making for dinner and I choose cereal instead.  Cereal is probably my favorite food right now.  Normally people say tacos or pizza, but those things tend to be followed by 10 tums a night. 

Labor Signs: None

Sleep:  It comes and goes.  I slept well (only getting up once) the last 2 out of 4 nights.  The other nights were hours of being up and watching TV downstairs and finally falling asleep.  Work comes too soon in the mornings.  I really could use a few days where I sleep until 9 or 10am but alas, I'm always up at a decent hour on Saturdays and Sundays.

Symptoms:  I still have pelvic issues and it hurts to walk towards the end of the work day through the evening.  My feet are swollen more frequently and sooner.  My back hurts most nights and instead of hanging out in the living room, I prefer to watch TV in bed.

Looking Forward To:   The baby shower is next weekend.  Although I don't really care for those type of things and I hate it when people have to spend their money to buy me things, I am looking forward to being around my family since I won't go to Thanksgiving this year.

Thoughts:  I could use more naps and sleep.  I'm tired.